Pie In The Face

I have had an urge to do something hard, something difficult; something tasty! I wanted to make a cherry pie.............from SCRATCH! bwah ha ha ha ha ha!

Today was the big day I was going to make my chery pie dreams come true. We headed to the Grande Marche, but didn't find any fresh cherries. I was NOT surprised by that, so I had a Plan B warming up in the bull pen: I would get some cherry pie filling, rinse the cherries off and use them to make my own filling. Sure I could have just used the fillings in the cans, but then I couldn't have said I made a cherry Pie...........from SCRATCH!

So whle we were at the store, I took some pictures of weird stuff: like raspberrie that look like grapes, or how about EDIBLE FLOWERS?!?!?!   Really! Are flowers in that high of demand as a gourmet game player?

Anyhow, here are the cherry cans we bought.

Here is the cherries all rinsed and clean.

Here is me making pie crust for the VERY FIRST TIME!!!!  It's kind of nerve wracking!
This picture below makes it quite obvious that I have a lost some weight down here. And yet, here I am making a cherry pie! Some people just don't learn! ha ha ha!

The hardest part was figuring out how to make some strips for a lattice top. Sure I could have just slapped a flat cover on, but this is Cherry pie.................from SCRATCH! I had to do it right!

Gee, doesn't it look so pretty? It was almost too pretty to bake, but the baking needed to get done so we could dig into the best cherry pie ever made from SCRATCH!

And this is what became of the the best cherry pie from scratch......um. so it burned black on top, and when we tasted it, I felt vomit come p my throat. IT tasted BITTER, not sour, but honest to gosh BITTER!!!!

TO be clear, it tasted like stomach acid mixed with powdered sugar...I think I was in denial for the first 1-2 bites. Then I had to accept the cruel disappointment, and surrender my cherry pie dreams.

**note to self** do NOT EVER use cherries that come from a can.EVER. AGAIN.
THE END.